The Single Mother Stigma

http://www.npr.org/2011/02/24/134031175/For-Single-Mothers-Stigma-Difficult-To-Shake?sc=emaf

Why Google Why?

In an average day of my life, I am already faced with a multitude of decisions, a fact that leaves me feeling quite weary on most days. I come home today, looking forward to a relaxing evening that includes a new potato recipe, a new episode of Awkward, and a few chapters of some Stephen King. No big decisions tonight, no siree Bob. The last choice I plan on making tonight was how long exactly to stay on the treadmill. Feeling fortunate as I swing by mail box on the way home, I truly believe life is going my way when my issue of Entertainment Weekly is here a day early. I reach that fabulous part of a rare day where I can sit out on my porch and read through my weekly Entertainment News (void Cruise and Holmes) and SLAM! WHACK! BANG! KAPOW! A pie right to the face. There it is, a choice that I don't want to have to make, "Google's Turn for a Tablet" is the article's title. I read through the tech update because I am now confident than a Mac or an iPad2 is in my near future only to discover that Google, the great maker of the only browser or search engine I will use; the place I travel to SEVERAL times every day, no matter what is happening in my life; the word itself has daily found itself in my conversations, them, yes GOOGLE is introducing their Nexus 7, their version of the growing popular tablet. Yes, it is already being hailed as having "all the makings of a hit: It's thin and extremely light (three-quarters of a pound-or half the weight of Apple's new iPad), has a seven inch screen (just like Amazon's Kindle Fire, but in HD resolution), and packs serious processing muscle." The price is extremely tempting as well, $199, which is $300 less that the iPad starts at. So at this point, I am sure you are wondering, 'What the hell is the problem then? Go for it!' Well, here is the problem. Nexus 7 is more than just Google's pad, it is a sign that Google is expanding their influence in the tech game. What Apple has done so well over the past few years, with iPhone's,iTunes, Mac Books, and iPad's syncing up so nicely and working so harmoniously with ones another, Google is mimicking, and they are doing it well. Google has "revamped cloud-based content store, Google Play...[and] Play will use the cloud to create a consistent experience across Android devices." The intro of the Nexus Q which streams content from the Play account to a TV or stereo using Android devices, but is a bit pricier than Apple TV, but...It is "Born in the USA" and made here as well. In an era where we import way more than we export, some home grown technology rouses the patriotism in me and I think, 'I would pay for that little added benefit.' And herein is where the problem lies, "in the end, users aren't just buying a device but the entire ecosystem," where, up until this point, Apple has cornered the market on. I love Google, I can afford Google, but I have already taken steps down Apple lane, and I can't imagine not having my iPhone.

So as our old ecosystem is being destroyed all around us, and I live in an age where I get to choose my new one, I just really didn't want to have to make such a big decision- will they never end?

Google vs. Apple...let the battle begin!

All God's Children have Fathers...right?

When did we become a society where the best interests of the child are usurped by the rights of the father? So, if a man ducks out and moves around a lot, then he can avoid having to support his offspring in any manner….

Look at this way, even the first homo-sapien clans had a family structure that included a father who was the ‘provider’ of food and protection for not just the child and its mother, but for the small group as a whole. If the man went out in search of food, hunting, he brought back meat, as well as the other supplies made from animal leftover parts; hides, tusks, fat for oil. Anyways, he helped ensure the survival of his family, the women and children of the group. If, and this was a much larger risk than we can imagine today, the father, hunter, man were to die while in the line of duty, it was customary that another member of this family either ‘marry’ his wife or take over the responsibility of her welfare as well as any children in her care. A man need never let the fear of someone being able to provide for his family stand in the way of his duty.

So, as a hunter-gatherer more animalistic, more primitive human society, we took better care of our children. As it stands today, a man can father a child and then evade any and all responsibility for the children, and the laws established by civilization have enabled this to become the rule rather than the exception. In my case specifically, because he is receiving his income through VA disability, my child is not entitled to any of that money because it is like “welfare” as I was told by my case worker. But, if we were still kept house together, that income would go to help provide for the child’s everyday necessities, so why would that money not be considered a way for the man to help with the child?

I asked my case worker that if my ex-husband were to die, my child would receive Social Security benefits, right? She agreed, that she most certainly would, around $1000.00 a month. So, if my ex is dead, the child can receive the resources to survive and thrive, but if the father lives and does not work, the child is left to suffer. Am I the only one who thinks that there is something that is incredibly wrong with this picture? Civilization has evolved indeed, and in the process (I imagine it has something to do with the patriarchal infrastructure of our society) managed to remove the responsibility that a father has toward his child to be what he has always been throughout human history; a provider. 

It's a great time to be me...

The Game of Thrones season 2 finale is tonight; Joss Weadon has scored huge with Avengers, meaning the mind that created Firefly is going to have an open ticket to allow his creative genius to run loose; Once Upon a Time on ABC continues to surprise me week after week as it interprets the fairly tales of generations into interesting plots that are fun to watch week after week; and this summer movie season, I have hit the mother load of my favorite types of movies, comic book superheroes and Disney's second movie featuring a bad ass female who does not need to be rescued by a prince; BBC's Sherlock just knocked my socks off and is begging to be watched again; The Long Walk reminded me is Stephen King's Hunger Games, only it came first and is, in the King fashion, a wonderfully gruesome mind fu8%; and American Gods is just sitting there, waiting to be read. My whole life, I belonged to an eclectic group that lived in a world of magic and advanced science, a group that was labeled 'nerds' and 'geeky' by society for their affinity for believing that the force was really with them and that 'He who controls the spice, controls the universe.' A group who knew that as " The man in black fled across the dessert," the gunslinger was close on his heels. I loved Michael Keaton as Batman and Farukah was the Worst Witch and Aunt Em's niece to me before she was Bobby Bouche's girlfriend.

It has occurred to me that now is a very good time to be me. All my sci-fi and fantasy cravings are being lavishly indulged these days; what was once eclectic has now become trendy and popular. I can only thank ka that I am alive to be a part of this ka-tet style surge in society.

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Point of No Return; One Second to Go...

It is another regular Sunday here in Winchester. I am sure that a good portion of this town was up and at church this morning, perhaps even indulging in a little family breakfast. The birds are chirping outside, the roller coaster that has been this April's weather has given us a preview of the hot, humid months ahead. Just two days ago, the frost and the biting wind reminded us of what we had left behind. Today may seem like a regular Sunday to some folks, but in my world it is the day that the countdown clock has begun.

As I poured my coffee this morning the thought occurred to me that in exactly two weeks from this day, this moment, I will be immersed in the Magic Kingdom and while the thought of being there so soon makes me smile it is quickly replaced with the reality of all that I have to accomplish before I get there. I have six papers left to write, two of them research papers. Lacey's opening night is this coming Friday, therefore she is on 'hell week' schedule, and guess who is her chauffeur? I have items to purchase for the trip, a dog that is getting neutered on Friday, and two teenagers who are accustomed to eating a prepared dinner every night. Let's not mention my new full time job that now expects me to show up regularly. Packing has to begin, reservations need to be double checked, and birthday presents and card need to be bought and sent to my step-mom. Let's face it, my kitchen now looks like a tornado hit it, I can not remember the last time I cleaned my floors or the bathroom, and the carpets are screaming for a shampoo. I managed to complete my FAFSA this week, and start the set up of a student loan for the summer classes I have to take, but I still have not written my adviser about adding a class I am doing as a one on one basis with the professor.

And this all needs to be done in less than 13 days. I don't write this down to whine, but to simply make sure that I am not dramatizing when a moment of panic sets in and I think, HOLY SHIT I HAVE A LOT TO DO; how in the hell am I going to get all this done...when am I going to get all this done? It is a few minutes before the blessed calm takes over and  the voice of reason whispers,'this always happens at finals time'. The daily expectations of life become daunting prospects and a feeling of terrifying helplessness seizes control that forces me to react in the only way I can: by digging my heels in with the fortifying resolve that I will not fall. Not fail, fall. Well, I suppose the two are mutually exclusive to me, I will not fail unless I fall...apart.

My name is Christina and I am a junkie; this is what keeps bringing me back to school, this is what I am addicted to: the adrenaline rush and the overwhelming sense of power that comes every time I conquer a semester. The only thing that is comparable to this feeling is probably the moment my children first left my body and entered the world. It is a moment of startling realization when you realize you just achieved the most demanding and arduous of feats, and for a small period of time after, I always feel invincible. Like labor, the duration of the semester is a period of coping with the pain, breathing in all the right places, and dealing with the sense that you are completely vulnerable. In a situation where all you can do is lay yourself out there while people poke, prod, and grade your innermost being, when the end comes and you realize that not only did you survive the ordeal and live to tell about it, you also contributed something meaningful to the vastness of time and space. A tiny ripple in the ocean perhaps, but a ripple nonetheless.

So here I go again, off to create a ripple. With so few days left, I am at the point of no return in the semester. There is always this feeling I get, a feeling of 'there is no going back now.' Probably like when I was ten centimeters dilated, ready or not, that baby was coming. One more second to go, and ready or not, I will be finished with another semester and then, "I'm going to Disney World!"