Point of No Return; One Second to Go...

It is another regular Sunday here in Winchester. I am sure that a good portion of this town was up and at church this morning, perhaps even indulging in a little family breakfast. The birds are chirping outside, the roller coaster that has been this April's weather has given us a preview of the hot, humid months ahead. Just two days ago, the frost and the biting wind reminded us of what we had left behind. Today may seem like a regular Sunday to some folks, but in my world it is the day that the countdown clock has begun.

As I poured my coffee this morning the thought occurred to me that in exactly two weeks from this day, this moment, I will be immersed in the Magic Kingdom and while the thought of being there so soon makes me smile it is quickly replaced with the reality of all that I have to accomplish before I get there. I have six papers left to write, two of them research papers. Lacey's opening night is this coming Friday, therefore she is on 'hell week' schedule, and guess who is her chauffeur? I have items to purchase for the trip, a dog that is getting neutered on Friday, and two teenagers who are accustomed to eating a prepared dinner every night. Let's not mention my new full time job that now expects me to show up regularly. Packing has to begin, reservations need to be double checked, and birthday presents and card need to be bought and sent to my step-mom. Let's face it, my kitchen now looks like a tornado hit it, I can not remember the last time I cleaned my floors or the bathroom, and the carpets are screaming for a shampoo. I managed to complete my FAFSA this week, and start the set up of a student loan for the summer classes I have to take, but I still have not written my adviser about adding a class I am doing as a one on one basis with the professor.

And this all needs to be done in less than 13 days. I don't write this down to whine, but to simply make sure that I am not dramatizing when a moment of panic sets in and I think, HOLY SHIT I HAVE A LOT TO DO; how in the hell am I going to get all this done...when am I going to get all this done? It is a few minutes before the blessed calm takes over and  the voice of reason whispers,'this always happens at finals time'. The daily expectations of life become daunting prospects and a feeling of terrifying helplessness seizes control that forces me to react in the only way I can: by digging my heels in with the fortifying resolve that I will not fall. Not fail, fall. Well, I suppose the two are mutually exclusive to me, I will not fail unless I fall...apart.

My name is Christina and I am a junkie; this is what keeps bringing me back to school, this is what I am addicted to: the adrenaline rush and the overwhelming sense of power that comes every time I conquer a semester. The only thing that is comparable to this feeling is probably the moment my children first left my body and entered the world. It is a moment of startling realization when you realize you just achieved the most demanding and arduous of feats, and for a small period of time after, I always feel invincible. Like labor, the duration of the semester is a period of coping with the pain, breathing in all the right places, and dealing with the sense that you are completely vulnerable. In a situation where all you can do is lay yourself out there while people poke, prod, and grade your innermost being, when the end comes and you realize that not only did you survive the ordeal and live to tell about it, you also contributed something meaningful to the vastness of time and space. A tiny ripple in the ocean perhaps, but a ripple nonetheless.

So here I go again, off to create a ripple. With so few days left, I am at the point of no return in the semester. There is always this feeling I get, a feeling of 'there is no going back now.' Probably like when I was ten centimeters dilated, ready or not, that baby was coming. One more second to go, and ready or not, I will be finished with another semester and then, "I'm going to Disney World!"

The (Not So) Daily: Game Of Thrones Review: 'The Night Lands'

The (Not So) Daily: Game Of Thrones Review: 'The Night Lands': by Amanda Lowery POSSIBLE SPOILERS! Game of Thrones is very much a show that must be taken in as a sum of its parts. With such a...